I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
