i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
