he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
