i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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