Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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