I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
