I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
