bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
