i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
