And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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