im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
