I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
