I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
