it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
