how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
