Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
