I'm really into asian looking animals
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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