One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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