I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
