I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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