The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I need a burrito and a hug.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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