She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I think I just shit out all my problems.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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