hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
