yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
