Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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