I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
