My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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