I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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