I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
you made out with another girl for some wings
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
