Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize