Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It's blow job season.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Randomize
