yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
