So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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