I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
