things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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