I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
no you cant smoke seaweed
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
