RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toyâ€
Randomize
