I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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