You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
