4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
