This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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