it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
