He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
