i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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