hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
