I'm sorry my penis didn't work
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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