you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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