She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
