I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
