He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
