Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
