WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Come see our sink grown plant.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
