What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
