I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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