So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
