The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
you never un-have a 4some
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
