The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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