Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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