theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
