Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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