I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
