i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
