Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
