I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
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