So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize