You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
